how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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