I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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