Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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