Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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