my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize