The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
