grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
