Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
