Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
