He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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