ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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