I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
