To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
