Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
