I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
