I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
