i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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