More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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