i think i have two assholes
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize