he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Enjoy the penises
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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