Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
