How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The struggles of a small town man whore
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
