I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sorry about my life...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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