he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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