i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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