how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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