"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
