its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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