She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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