they need to just BURY HIM!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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