I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
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IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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