we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
