Barsexuality is the new black.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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