I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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