I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize