I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
