He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
