my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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