Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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