You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
