just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
