Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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