I'm gonna have a badass scar
accomplished twins. life is a go
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I am available for nakedness
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
