I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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