I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
