i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
