Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Jerry, you need to find god
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
