GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
