i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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