it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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