Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
