I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
