He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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