After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
