at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
