I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
