why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All the doctor said was why
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
