I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
