i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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