I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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