Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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