Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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