Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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